Three Things I've Learned
This is my Truth.
I am going to start by saying I know you are busy and have a lot to do! Because of this, I am going to do my best to keep this short and sweet so you can read it, decide if you can use any of the information, and go about your day.
Often I find myself thinking about how lucky I am. Engaged internally I wander about my mind in an attempt to recognize all the people I have been fortunate enough to meet. Many of these people have pushed me to be better than I was before. These people believed in me. These believersare partly a reflection of the effort I have given thus far and partly a reflection of who they are and their selflessness. To those I say, thank you. You have inspired me to never settle for mediocrity, to push to be my best self and to try my hardest to make the world a better place through my positive mindset.
There are things that I have learned along my journey through life that I want to share with others. Some of these things I have learned through my own experiences – some through the experiences of others. Some of these things I REALLY wish I had learned earlier! I want to share my experience with the world so that others can learn what I have. From my success and my failures. To take what I give and derive there own value from it. The choice is yours.
In this piece I want to share 3 lessons that have helped me navigate life.
They are as follows……
1. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
2. YOU MUST TAKE PRACTICAL ACTION TO MANIFEST YOUR DESIRES
3. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT UNIQUE
Now let me explain.
1. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
I truly believe that one of the ABSOLUTE MOST IMPORTANT things you can do to live the live you truly desire is spend time on yourself. It is so easy to get sucked into the rat race of life: waking up, going to school or work, putting in your eight hours, coming home to wrap up what you couldn’t finish at school or work, fit some time in for nourishment and before you know it it’s time to go to bed and start all over.
Who, as a child, when our hearts and minds are untainted by the expectations of society and those closest to us, ever dreamt of a life like this?
I know I didn’t. And I know that the people I know best didn’t either.
Pretty soon I will be leaving to go to Air Force OTS (Officer Training School) a nine and a half week program in Alabama that prepares cadets for a life as an Officer in the Air Force. Immediately after that I will depart for UPT (Undergraduate Pilot Training) followed by my specialty school to learn how to fly the C-130J Super Hercules. In total, it will be two and a half years until I am stationed back at the Channel Islands Air National Guard base.
Completing this schooling is going to be the most arduous and enduring challenge I have ever faced. I will be sleep deprived, home sick, pushed to my physical, mental and emotional limits and I am so excited! For there will be no better opportunity for me to practice what I preach. I will need to find the time in my crazy busy schedule to check in with myself and do the self-work necessary to maintain the energy to stay in the battle.
If I do not take the time to make myself the best I can be, what good am I to my country? To the ones I love most? To those I do not yet know but could one day have the potential to impact?
Who would you rather learn from?
Someone that is 100% confident they are living their best life?
Or someone that wakes up discontent and constantly is wishing for something different or more?
Taking care of oneself will look different for everyone. I want to provide you with a list of things that I do to take care of myself as an example or potentially something to model after if you choose.
1. I maintain my physical health by exercising and eating well
Personally, I enjoy weightlifting, yoga, surfing and mountain biking but there are seemingly unlimited ways to stay physically healthy and I believe it is so important to find ways of doing so that you actually ENJOY. It will make it that much easier to get out and do them. Don’t get discouraged if it takes you a while to find something you enjoy, everyone has to start somewhere.
Furthermore! The research on the benefits of exercise is irrefutable.
For an awesome video summary on some of the research check out the following link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFBBjynBpSw
2. Hobbies.
I have found that the more time I can take to do the things I love most, surfing, reading, being outdoors, golfing the happier I am. I have noticed that in the past I would feel guilty for taking the time to do these things. Like I was sacrificing my productivity for fun. The thing is, however, having fun IS being productive. When we are happy with the way we are living we are more inclined to work hard and focus when a job needs to get done.
3. Practice Mindfulness.
In college I was exposed to the practice of mindfulness and it changed my life in so many great ways. The brain is like a muscle, it acts like a muscle, and the more we train it, the stronger it gets like a muscle. This shows not only in your intelligence, i.e. the more you learn the smarter you become, but in the research too. Studies show that the practice of mindfulness can increase the grey matter in your brain leading to better emotional control, cognitive functioning, and so much more! See the following article in the Huffington Post for more.
4. Foster good relationships.
Have you ever heard of The Grant Study?
Harvard Medical School has been running one of, if not the longest longitudinal studies of human development. Two groups of boys were selected – one of Harvard sophomores and one of underprivileged minors from the greater Boston area – from 1939. The goal of the study was to discover what contributes most to someone’s well being over time.
You know what they found?
It wasn’t wealth, it wasn’t status, and it wasn’t the amount of travelling they did.
IT WAS THE QUALITY OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS
The men that fared the best physically, mentally and emotionally shared the commonality of having quality relationships with people they felt they could truly count on.
I am committed to surrounding myself with friends that I know would have my back in any situation. Sometimes life gets in the way and I cant see them as often as I would like so I have to make the effort to call or Factime every once in a while. I am always relieved how happy they are to hear from me and I feel the same way when the tables are turned. This goes for family too! Life is too short to hold grudges against those you love. Put your ego aside and make amends to the relationships you have broken and the mistakes you have made. Unity is more important in a healthy life.
So take care of yourselves! Try your best not to get sucked up in the rat race of life because that is not a life worth living! As the cheesy quote on a piece of wood in our kitchen says,
Lesson number 2
2. YOU MUST TAKE PRACTICAL ACTION TO MANIFEST YOU DESIRES.
If you want something, you must take steps in the direction it requires. If you want to start reading more, buy a new book. If you want to get in better shape, start walking around the block. If you want to make more friends, reach out to new groups.
The amount of effort you start putting in to something does not matter as much as the fact that you have decided to put SOME energy in it at all.
YOU CAN DO IT! You are 100% capable of living the life you truly desire! You have to tell yourself that! Engage in positive self-talk; tell yourself you are strong enough, smart enough, hard-working enough!
An overwhelming body of scientific evidence is being gathered on the affects of Cognitive Behavior Therapy – a method of improving happiness and emotional intelligence through thoughts and beliefs – that supports this notion. If you don’t know how to take the first step, reach out for help. People are always more willing to lend a hand than you think. If you don’t have anyone to reach out to, reach out to me! I will be there for you.
Number 3 is this:
3. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT UNIQUE.
BUT YOU ARE.
Before I truly realized this I felt like I was unoriginal. I took issue with the fact that everything I thought about I got from someone else. The first time I had this notion challenged I was standing in the kitchen of my first apartment in San Diego with one of my best friends Leison. We were talking about our days at school like we always did when I told him about an insecurity I had.
I said:
“I feel like none of my thoughts are original”
He simply responded,
“Is anything anyone thinks original?”
DUH! I thought.
The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. But if none of my thoughts are original? Does that mean I am unoriginal?
Our thoughts are the products of the environment we are raised in. If they are never challenged, then we get stuck believing in the same things those before us believed in. If we fall victim to the fallacy of authority and believe what others say because they are more experienced than us, than we become them in all their mundaneness.
You see, the concepts in and of themselves we think may not be original, but the ones we value, the ones we chose to identify with most and how we go about living our lives based on this knowledge IS what makes us unique.
A small conversation, and an even smaller gesture in return lit a spark in me that turned in to one of the strongest burning fires of my mind. We are too quick to talk, talk, talk, that we never truly get the chance to listen to all the amazing things other people have to say. Ask questions and then LISTEN!
There is a quote I like about the power of introversion and if you know me, you know I am definitely an extrovert.
The quote says this,
“The loudest person in the room is usually the weakest”
As someone that is often the loudest person in the room this really knocked me on my ass. But it’s true, we need to take the time to SHUT UP and listen to what people have to say. Don’t fill the silence; don’t correct someone with your misguided sense of self-righteousness (Incredible Bain from Batman quote, anyone catch it?).Let your mind transform into a filter that listens to all and keeps what it values the most. The sooner I learned how to do this the happier I became. Take pride in the fact that you can learn from every interaction and become a better person as a result of it.
Taking care of myself, taking practical action to manifest my desires, and learning that my thoughts are not unique but I am are three lessons that helped my tremendously so far. I hope that, whether you agree or disagree with these lessons, whether you know them already or not, you found some value in this piece. In conclusion I want to say this: Life is a journey. Do not get fixated on the end game because I truly believe that the beauty lies within the process.
Rest easy,
Duncan